Avengers: We're Going to Take Over the World Together
by IBegToDreamAndDiffer
Summary: Tony and Loki are in high school. Tony's hot, Loki's hot; Tony's an asshole, Loki's an asshole. So, you know... stuff happens. Okay, so there's more to it than that; Tony's the genius millionaire who can't get along with anyone, and Loki's the new kid who likes setting people on fire. Tony and Loki are gonna take over the world together. See warnings inside.
1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

**Pairing: **Loki/Tony Stark

**Warnings: **Mild language, very mild violence, and, uh... crack? It's kinda cracky. That is all.

**Disclaimer: **The world and characters of the Avengers belong to Marvel. I own nothing but the plot and make no money from this story.

* * *

><p>The Odinsons had just moved into town. Okay, well, they weren't <em>all <em>Odinsons. They were English, but their dad was Scandinavian... or something, and apparently he was a traditionalist. So his last name was Borrson, and his eldest kid's last name was Odinson, and the youngest- Loki, adopted- was Laufeyson.

It was all... _really _confusing. But Tony wasn't sure he should actually ask either Thor or Loki why they'd decided to be so _weird_. Because, you see, while Thor Odinson was all bright smiles, shiny white teeth, and big ol' blue eyes, Loki Laufeyson was skinny, dark, with poison green eyes, and... he'd set the last kid who annoyed him on fire.

Yes, that's right, _actual fire_. As in, the kid had been standing over Loki, all cocky smile and biting words, and suddenly Loki had _smirked _and then _poof_, he's on fire, captain, someone call the fire brigade!

Security searched Loki. All he had on him was a cellphone, a packet of cigarettes, and absolutely zero fire starters. Not even a box of matches for his smokes!

Loki got a detention for being in the general vicinity of the Human Torch, but that was it. Nobody went near Loki after that. Well, except Thor, but Loki apparently didn't like Thor. He called his adopted brother an idiot every other word, and always hissed, "_Fuck you, Thor!_" whenever Thor approached him or spoke to him or... you know, _looked _at him.

Tony was _in love_!

Stop laughing, Pepper.

No, seriously, Tony was, like, one-hundred percent, absolutely, hearts-in-his-eyes _in love_.

Loki was gorgeous; he was all long, lean muscles, slicked back black hair, emerald green eyes, and sharp, biting words. His mouth would look _glorious _wrapped around Tony's cock, or he could totally screw Tony into the mattress as long as he used that sharp tongue to whisper wicked things into Tony's ear.

The fact that Tony and Loki had never spoken, or shared eye contact, or generally, you know, _been near each other_, didn't deter Tony in the slightest. Neither did the fact that Tony had never looked at a dude before, and Loki had bitch slapped the last guy who tried to hit on him. That would _not _stop Tony from staring and daydreaming and planning his and Loki's lives together.

Loki was smart. A genius, the rumours said. The teachers complained about him and glared at Tony, like another genius seventeen-year-old turning up at their school was somehow _his _fault; did they think that all smart people knew each other? Well, maybe. Tony was a member of Mensa and had been since he was four. Maybe Loki was, too.

Loki was hot. Loki was an asshole. Loki was a genius.

Yup, he and Tony would make beautiful babies... you know, if that was biologically possible.

Which was his opening line, actually, when he dropped into the seat opposite Loki in the cafeteria.

Loki just stared at him. Blinked slowly. Pushed his salad around with his fork.

'Yeah,' Tony said, 'so... wanna practise?'

'I'm assuming you mean practise making our biologically-impossible offspring?' Loki questioned.

Oh, God, that _voice_.

'Yes,' Tony said.

'I see,' Loki hummed. 'And why would I even agree to that when you have yet to woo me?'

Tony blinked. 'Uh... woo you?'

'Yes,' Loki stated. 'You know, compliment me, take me out, buy me things, generally kneel before me.'

'Okay...' Tony said, 'uh... Loki, you're totally, smoking hot!' Loki smirked. 'Wanna go get pizza tonight? We can act all inappropriate and see how long it takes the guy who owns the place to kick us out. My record is nine minutes.'

'I could do better,' Loki mused.

'I'm a millionaire- well, my dad's a millionaire,' Tony corrected himself mid-sentence, 'but I have a credit card and he never checks how much cash I spend. So I can buy you stuff. I can also build you stuff, because I'm a genius with all things tech. Want free service on your cell? I can do that. What a new cell? I can build you one.'

Loki hummed and tilted his head.

'When we get to the sex stage of our relationship, I'll kneel before you so quickly you'll be coming before your jeans are halfway down your legs,' Tony finished.

Loki's eyebrows rose at that and he gave Tony a very slow, and _very _thorough, once-over. Tony could admit that he preened a bit; puffed his chest out; waggled his eyebrows when Loki met his eyes once more. Loki snorted and leaned over the table, his hands pressed together and tucked just beneath his chin. Wow, Loki totally had the evil genius thing down.

'You make a compelling argument,' Loki said. Tony grinned. 'However,' he continued. Tony pouted. 'You spend a lot of time with that girl... Potts?'

'Pepper Potts,' Tony said. 'She's my best friend.'

'I see. And that boy...'

'James Rhodes. I call him Rhodey. He's my other best friend. Sometimes. When I don't piss him off.'

'You spend a lot of time with Potts and Rhodes,' Loki said, 'and they spend a lot of time with Romanov, Barton and Rogers, all of whom have invited Thor into their little clique.'

'Yeah...' Tony said. Where the hell was this going?

'I despise my adopted brother, Stark,' Loki said.

Okay, so Loki was all serious, with his serious face (and Tony had hit stalker levels if he knew Loki's serious face without ever having actually talked to the dude) but _Loki knew his name! _SCORE ONE FOR TONY STARK, BITCHES!

'So you despise Thor,' Tony said when he'd finally stopped preening. Thankfully Loki seemed to just find him amusing.

'Yes,' Loki said. 'If you are friends with Thor, even slightly, you will never see me naked.'

'Huh,' Tony said. 'Well, I've spoke to Thor all of five times. First I said "yo" because he and Pepper were talking. Then he asked me where the cafeteria was his second day here. The other three times I asked about you and he got really weird and said I should stay away from you, but I told him you wouldn't set _me _on fire.'

'Won't I?' Loki drawled. 'Not to say that I've ever set _anyone _on fire,' he added, a glint in his eyes.

Tony grinned; he couldn't help it. 'Now see, Lo, that's why we'd be awesome together.'

'Don't call me Lo,' Loki said.

Tony ignored him.

'We'd be awesome together because clearly we're both crazy and assholes and like blowing stuff up!' Tony said.

'Do we?' Loki asked, head tilted once more. He totally found Tony interesting!

'Well, you like setting people- _things_- on fire, and I like blowing stuff up in my workshop.'

_That _got Loki's attention, and he leaned forward. 'Workshop?'

'You've heard of my dad, right?' Tony asked. 'Howard Stark?'

'Indeed,' Loki replied. 'He and my adopted father, Odin, have had business together.' He grinned sharply. 'Your father has enraged mine a fair few times. I want to send him a fruit basket.'

Tony snickered. 'Yeah, well, your dad's probably enraged mine, too. So we both win, huh?' Loki hummed. 'Anyway, my dad's smart,' Tony continued, 'and I'm smarter. Dad builds stuff- computers, cars, cellphones, etcetera. I build _better _stuff. I made a robot and I've almost finished my very first programme for artificial intelligence.'

'Truly?' Loki asked.

'Yup,' Tony grinned, making the p pop. 'I've heard that you're pretty smart, too.'

'With chemicals,' Loki said, 'science... I like acid.'

'Acid's cool; I have acid,' Tony said. 'Wait, we're talking about the chemical, not the drug, right?'

'I don't do drugs,' Loki told him. 'Well, unless we count tobacco and alcohol as drugs.'

'I think the cops do,' Tony grinned, 'but I sure as hell don't.'

Loki hummed again and tilted his head the other way, eyes once more roaming over Tony. 'You _are _intriguing,' he eventually said.

That was... good, right?

'Very well,' Loki said. 'I shall go on _one _date with you. If you fail to meet the requirements I've set out, and if you bore me, I will be in your vicinity when you spontaneously burst into flames through no direct result of my own actions.'

Tony beamed. 'Deal!'

The other students in their lunch hour, all sitting at their various tables, stared at the two in horror. Thor could be heard moaning, "_Loki, no!_" while Pepper turned to Rhodey and hissed, "_Intervention, intervention!_" under her breath.

Neither Tony or Loki paid them any attention. Tony had a date to plan and Loki had a student to stalk. He wanted to know _everything _about Tony Stark before he went anywhere with the other boy.

{oOo}

Stark bought him flowers and Loki mocked him mercilessly for them. But he'd blushed first- traitorous pale complexion!- and Stark had caught his flush and grinned happily all the way to his car. Loki scowled, but gave the younger boy points when Stark opened the door of his very nice, and very fast-looking, car for Loki.

He then spent the entire drive to the pizza place blaring AC/DC and screaming the lyrics at Loki, so Loki added more points; after all, any partner of his had to be crazy and a dick. It was a requirement.

Stark bought him an entire pizza and got one of his own, because in his words, "_You're hot, Green Eyes, but I _love _pizza and you aren't getting any of my special double-meat, double-cheese pesto-sauce pizza_."

More points for Stark. Though he deducted one for his truly _appalling _taste in pizza toppings.

Stark was traditional; or cliché, depending on how you viewed it. After pizza- it took them four point six minutes, by Loki's reckoning, to get booted out- they went to the movies. It was some romantic comedy and they sat in the very front row after buying massive amounts of popcorn, candy, and the biggest sodas and slushies available. They mocked the movie and got hissed at and were in the theatre for thirty-two minutes before they were escorted out.

When Stark dropped Loki home, the green-eyed teenager turned, kissed him chastely, and slipped Stark's cellphone from his pocket. He quickly entered his number- Stark was just staring at him, all dreamy-eyed from the kiss- and then put Stark's phone back in his jeans.

'Call me, Stark,' he said and went inside.

Thor was eating ice cream in the living room and asked Loki how his date was. He turned his big, sad, puppy-dog eyes on his brother, and Loki sighed.

'It was enjoyable,' he said.

Thor beamed, but wisely didn't ask any more questions.

Odin was still at work- no surprise- but Frigga was in the kitchen. She smiled at him. 'How was your date, sweetie?' she asked.

Loki could never lie to his mother. He leaned against the kitchen sink beside her, watched as she peeled vegetables for the stew she was making.

'I like him,' Loki murmured. And he did. How the hell had that happened?

Frigga's smile widened. 'Good,' she said.

{oOo}

Twenty minutes after getting home, Loki's mobile rang. He was in his room and answered it after a quick glance at the caller ID: "Unknown Number".

'Hello?'

'_I'm calling,_' Stark said.

Loki smiled stupidly- and was glad that nobody could see. He leaned back. 'Good,' he said.

'_So, how was your night?_' Stark asked. '_I just had this totally hot date_.'

'Really?' Loki asked with a chuckle. 'And who was hotter, you or your date?'

'_Me, duh_,' Stark said, and Loki could picture him rolling his eyes. '_But he was smoking! Shoulda seen him, damn! I'm totally gonna tap that._'

'You think highly of yourself,' Loki laughed.

'_Damn right I do_,' Stark huffed. '_But the best part was when he kissed me_.'

Loki froze. 'Really?'

'_Yeah_,' Stark said, '_I really like him, so it was awesome_.'

Loki slumped back against his headboard and bit his lip; it didn't stop his lips from curling up. 'I had a good time... Tony.'

'_Me too_,' Stark replied. Loki knew that he was smiling, too.

{oOo}

Six dates later, and after Stark had shown Loki his workshop, they became "official". Which meant that Stark updated his Facebook status and Loki said, "_Yes, we enjoy killing people in our spare time. We're also going to take over the world together_," whenever anyone asked if he was dating Tony Stark.

Only three people asked. Frigga had cuffed him over the back of the head, Thor had just grinned, and some girl at school had stared at him in horror. Nobody else asked after that.

Although the fact that he and Stark sat together every lunch and in English Lit, their one shared class- and the fact that they were always together outside of school- made it very obvious that they were together.

Loki didn't care what the school thought. With Stark- with _Tony_- he was... _happy_.

{oOo}

'Told you,' Tony grinned as he watched Loki eat his salad and chicken.

Pepper rolled her eyes. 'Yes, yes,' she muttered. 'You got the guy.'

'Hell yeah!' Tony cheered. 'Our kids will be beautiful.'

'I haven't agreed to have children with you yet,' Loki reminded him.

'Pssh; we're totally having kids,' Tony said.

'Are we?' Loki drawled.

'Yup,' Tony replied.

Loki raised an eyebrow and leaned over the table. 'What are you willing to do for my agreement?'

Tony's eyes darkened and beside him Pepper groaned and stood; she did _not _want to hear anything more about their sex life, thank you very much.

'What do you want?' Tony asked.

Loki leaned further over the table and pressed his lips against Tony's ear, his whispered suggestion- demand, really- sending heat straight through Tony's body.

'_Fuck_,' Tony groaned. Loki grinned wickedly at him. 'After school?' Tony said.

'I wouldn't want to be anywhere else,' Loki told him. His smirk turned into a smile- soft, gentle, the smile that only Tony was allowed to see.

Tony smiled in response and then launched across the table to attack Loki's mouth with his own.

They were pulled apart ten minutes later by a very pissed off teacher. Tony's shout that their making out was "_FOR SCIENCE!_" went completely ignored.

Tony was still grinning, even later that afternoon in detention. It was official; he and Loki were dating, Tony was a genius who's plans _always _worked spectacularly, and Loki's silver tongue really was wicked.

Tony was really freaking glad that the Odinsons had moved to town.

Laufeyson.

Whatever.

* * *

><p>{The End}<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>HAHA! Have RANDOM FrostIron written when I've been AWAKE for 26 HOURS! Yes, that's right; this was written while I was sleep deprived and listening to Green Day. I am truly sorry if it's terrible. But, ya know... it's kinda cracky, so it's supposed to be terrible. Right?

Right.

Cheers!

{IBegToDreamAndDiffer}


	2. Random Bonus Chapter

**Random Bonus Chapter**

Pepper had known Tony since they were four; a product of Pepper's mother being Howard Stark's secretary (going on sixteen years this January). So Pepper felt like a bit of an authority on all things Tony Stark. The only other person who know Tony as well as she did was Rhodey, and Tony and Rhodey tended to lose contact with each other for weeks at a time despite being in half of the same classes. It was just a _thing _that they did.

Tony Stark acted like an asshole. Granted, only half of it was an act; Tony was arrogant, a smartass, too clever to get along with people his own age. Hell, more than half of the adults who had a conversation with seventeen-year-old Tony Stark walked away feeling like idiots. But see, _most _of it was a front, a mask that Tony had built up.

When you were rich and smart and related to the owner of Stark Industries, you learned very quickly how to put people off. Most people- teenagers, teachers, strangers from the street- only wanted Tony's time for his ideas, his money, or his dad. After the four hundredth, "_Wow, that's great; so listen, can you introduce me to your dad?_" Tony had given up on acting like a sane human being and had gone on the offensive.

So he swore. He acted like an idiot. He made fourteen witty remarks that left your head spinning just seconds after meeting him. Beneath that- the cutting words and cocky smile and bright, crazy eyes- was a deeply loyal guy who would _always _be there for his friends.

Anyway, the point was that Pepper knew Tony pretty damn well. Tony didn't get along with many people. And the people he _did _get along with- Pepper, Rhodey, Clint and Natasha and Steve and Bruce, sometimes- well, even they had a hard time dealing with Tony in large doses. Pepper wasn't about to lie and say that she could always follow Tony's thoughts, handle him, and put up with him. Sometimes even she had to walk away for a bit; take a breather.

Which was why, when Tony sat beside her one lunch and declared, 'Pep, I'm in love!' Pepper rolled her eyes and brushed the comment aside.

After all, this was Tony Stark.

When Tony sought her out at lunch for the next two weeks- consistently, sitting down with a bag of McDonalds or a bucket of KFC or even a pizza box- and kept saying, 'Pepper, I've met my future husband,' or, 'Pepper, his eyes are _really _green,' and even, 'Pepper, of my God, he's just so adorable!' and flopping over the table like he could no longer deal with his existence, _that _was when Pepper started paying attention.

'What?' she asked.

Tony jerked up and grinned, like suddenly life had meaning again. Pepper sighed. 'Loki, Pepper!' Tony said. 'We're gonna get married one day.'

Tony kinda sounded like one of those obsessed fans who insisted that they were gonna marry their favourite musician or actress.

'Loki...' Pepper said slowly. Tony nodded enthusiastically. 'Wait.'

Tony waited.

'Loki?' Pepper asked, eyes narrowed on her friend. 'Loki as in Loki Laufeyson? The guy who set William Kelly on _fire_?'

'Yes,' Tony beamed. Like he _hadn't _just announced that he wanted to marry a pyromaniac.

'No,' Pepper said. She shook her head and repeated the word a few times, because- 'Of all the _insane _ideas you've had, Tony, this one really takes the cake.'

Tony pouted at her. 'Now I want cake _and _Loki.'

'You want... I don't... seriously?' Pepper asked. When Tony just nodded Pepper groaned and reached up to rub her eyes, careful not to smudge her make up. 'Tony,' she sighed.

'What?' Tony asked.

'Are you... okay, first of all,' Pepper said, 'since when do you like guys?'

Tony just hummed a bit, played with his fries, and then shrugged. 'I dunno. Since I saw Loki, I suppose.'

Well okay, then. Pepper couldn't say that she was _completely _surprised. That was Tony; suddenly attracted to a guy and he just went with it. No sexual identity crises for Tony Stark.

'Why?' Tony said suddenly, scowling at her. 'Have a problem with me liking guys, Pep?'

Pepper rolled her eyes and reached over to flick Tony on the nose. 'Bad, Tony, bad!'

'Ow, what the hell?!'

Pepper smirked as Tony rubbed his nose and glared at her. 'Of course I don't have a problem with it!' she said. 'I love you, you know that. And I've never been homophobic in my life.' She paused. 'Well, not to my knowledge.'

'Good,' Tony grunted. 'So what's the problem?'

'Well... _Loki_,' she said, and really, that should be all the explanation necessary.

Loki Laufeyson, from what Pepper could tell, was _not _a nice person. He was incredibly smart, which most of the teachers despised, but he was weird, dark, and he laughed at other people's suffering. Plus, you know-

'He set William Kelly on _fire_,' she reminded her best friend.

'Yeah,' Tony grinned, 'it was awesome.'

Pepper stared at him, mouth gaping slightly. Oh, God. Of _course _Tony would find that amazing. He was insane.

'Loki's totally cool, Pep, you should see him!'

'I _have _seen him,' she murmured. Loki was gorgeous, there was no doubt about that. And he was charming when he wanted to be; Pepper had seen him flirt with one of the librarians to get extra time on the computer.

But he liked setting people on fire and fighting with his classmates and correcting the teachers. He was actually worse than Tony; Tony 2.0; Tony to the power of three.

'I'm gonna ask him out,' Tony declared, breaking Pepper from his thoughts.

'Okay...' she said, drawing the word out slowly, 'have you ever actually... _spoken _to Loki?'

Tony blinked at her. 'No?'

'Is that a question or an answer?' Pepper asked.

'No,' Tony said firmly.

'No to the first part or-'

'Pepper!' He glared at her and Pepper laughed quietly. 'Stop laughing at me- this is my future, Pep!' Tony said. 'My soon-to-be spouse!'

'So you're going to skip dating and just marry him?' Pepper asked. 'I think you have to be eighteen to get married, Tony.'

Tony waved a dismissive hand. 'I'll look into it tonight. Besides, I don't mind waiting.'

With that said Tony turned, abandoned his lunch, and just started... staring across the cafeteria. Pepper frowned and followed his train of sight, then laughed; Loki was sitting at a table by himself, a book to his left, using his fork to slowly push his beans around his plate.

Oh dear God. Tony was smitten. Actually, legitimately, _smitten_. This wasn't a joke or Tony being... Tony. Tony _liked _Loki Laufeyson.

Pepper had to laugh again. Laughter kept her sane.

{oOo}

Apparently Tony's "Super Genius Plan to Get Loki to Date Me" was to... go up and tell Loki that they'd make beautiful children together if it was biologically possible.

Pepper almost face-palmed just because of the sheer... _Tony-ness _of the whole thing. She couldn't hear exactly what Tony and Loki were discussing, but Tony was smiling and Loki looked amused, so it seemed to be going... well? She'd stick with "well".

'What's going on?' Rhodey asked from beside her.

Pepper smiled weakly. 'Tony has a massive crush on Loki Laufeyson,' she informed him. She laughed at the way Rhodey's eyes bugged out. 'Well, Tony's apparently decided that he and Loki are going to get married at some point in the future and be evil geniuses together... or something, he was talking too quickly.' And too much. Every other conversation with Tony involved Loki these days.

'Wait... what?' Rhodey demanded. 'Since when does Tony like guys?'

'Since Loki,' Pepper shrugged.

Loki was smirking now, which Pepper didn't think was good, but Tony was still grinning and staring and generally behaving like Loki was the most amazingly beautiful person he'd ever set eyes on. And who knows, maybe that was actually how Tony felt. Pepper had never understood how his mind worked.

By now the entire cafeteria had realised what Tony was doing and how Loki was reacting, so when Loki spoke Pepper heard every word;

'Very well,' Loki said. 'I shall go on _one _date with you. If you fail to meet the requirements I've set out, and if you bore me, I will be in your vicinity when you spontaneously burst into flames through no direct result of my own actions.'

Tony beamed. 'Deal!'

_Oh, no_.

Pepper grabbed Rhodey's arm and hissed, 'Intervention, intervention!'

'After how the last one went?' he demanded, refering to the time they'd tried to stop Tony staying up all night "doing science". Tony's robot, DUM-E, had chased them around the house with a fire extinguisher. It still did when Tony got into one of his moods.

'We have to do something!' Pepper said. She knew that Tony was love drunk, but she'd never expected Loki to actually _agree _to a date.

'I'm staying out of it,' Rhodey said, shaking his head. 'Let Tony make his mistakes. And hey, maybe it'll work out.'

Pepper glared at him.

'Sometimes Tony's plans do,' Rhodey shrugged.

{oOo}

'_Pepper, Pepper, we're officially dating!_' Tony shouted, making Pepper wince and pull her cellphone away from her ear.

'That's nice, Tony,' she said when Tony finally went quiet.

'_Nice? It's not _nice_! It's amazing! Spectacular! Fucking-_'

'Yes, Tony,' she interrupted, laughing when Tony huffed.

'_Stop laughing at me,_' he whined, '_you've been laughing at me ever since I told you I love Loki_.'

'I'm sorry,' she said, mostly sincere- she _was _happy for Tony, but he was adorable when he was smitten. Despite her reservations about Loki, he at least made Tony happy.

'_Good_,' Tony grunted. '_So are you gonna have lunch with me and my boyfriend tomorrow?_'

'Yes, Tony,' she promised, and only hung up after the third, "_Pepper, his dick is glorious! I'm gonna build a shrine!_" She was Tony's best friend; she wasn't a saint.

{oOo}

Tony and Loki had absolutely zero problems with discussing their sex life in front of... well, anyone; Pepper included. Which was why, at lunch about a week after Tony and Loki "became official", she stood, grabbed her lunch, and left before Loki could voice whatever sexual act it was he wanted. She sat with Rhodey and Bruce Banner, both boys smiling at her as she bit back into her sandwich.

She couldn't help but glance over at Tony and Loki a few minutes later, just to make sure that Tony wasn't preforming the promised sexual act right there in the cafeteria.

_Well_, she mused when she caught sight of the two making out, practically _humping _on the table, _at least Loki hasn't set anyone on fire._

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: GreenLoki<strong> once said to me something along the lines of, 'Girl, you KNOW Johnny's gonna write more; stop fighting it.' And look at that! Johnny's written more. So there you go :D

So, what happened was, I stayed up AGAIN and I'm currently running on five hours sleep over a 32 hour period. My brain, sleep-deprived as it is, decided to revisit this 'verse. YAY!

Or, whatever.

Cheers,

{Dreamer}


End file.
